My major life update is that I became a stay-at-home mom about 6 months ago. There are many reasons for this, but the main one is that I wanted to spend more time with my kids. To be honest, the idea of being a stay-at-home mom was one that had been on my mind for a few years. There have been many great moments as well as many challenging ones. Thorough it all, I have learned that being SAHM is NOT exactly what I thought. Keep reading and you’ll see what I mean.
Stay-at-home-mom vs career
Why would someone choose to leave their job to become a stay-at-home mom? I asked my daughter this question. Her response? “To play with her kids, cook, and to take very good care of her kids.” Cute, right?
Kids make it sound very easy but deciding whether you want to be a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom is very challenging. Like any major decision in life, there are pros and cons to being a stay-at-home mom.
Pros
Spending time with kids
This one alone can be very persuasive when you are deciding whether you want to become a SAHM or not. As a SAHM you’ll get to spend time with your kids. You will have the opportunity to do crafts, play games, read stories, etc.
Choosing your own schedule
Even though you are not really working under a direct manager, it is very important to come up with a routine/schedule that works for you and your family. The flexibility you get in creating this schedule is another pro of becoming a SAHM.
Not worrying about who will take care of your kids
You will not need to worry about daycare fees, your children catching germs from other kids, having to call in to work when your kid is sick… you get the point.
Less expenses outside of the home
With the help of a meal planner, you will not need to be buying lunch/dinner outside the home. You will not have the need to buy $4 coffee outside the home either, because you can make your own coffee at home. Little changes like this, will have a big impact in the amount of money you can save by becoming a SAHM.
Homely comfort
As a SAHM you will be able to enjoy your everyday life in the comfort of your home. It is recommended that you get ready for the day as you would for work, but in the days where you need a break, as a SAHM you will be able to stay in your PJs just a bit longer, and there will be no shame in that!
Cons
Stay at home mom depression risk
Because you will be spending a lot of time at home, you are at a higher risk to develop SAHM depression. Because this subject is very important to understand, I expand on it in this post. The most important thing to remember is that you need to take care of your health before you can take care of your family’s health. Recognize the symptoms of SAHM depression and act on them as soon as you notice them.
Financial struggles
Even though there is an opportunity to save some money as a SAHM, you may also encounter financial struggles. For this reason, a thorough budget is highly recommended before deciding to become a SAHM. In this situation the saying: “if you fail to plan you plan to fail”, fits perfectly.
You are never alone
The pro was that you would spend time with your kids, the con? you will never be alone. Unless you participate in other SAHM groups and gatherings, you will have little adult time, as you will spend most of your days reasoning with kids.
Cleaning and maintaining a house can be overwhelming
Because you and your kids will be spending more time at home, you will need to clean more and cook more, and all the other things I said in the beginning. This can be overwhelming, as you will have to do this while trying to balance many other tasks like feeding the kids, or folding laundry. Again, you may benefit from creating a schedule that fits your daily life.
Feeling like you are missing out on work life
From time to time, you might hop into indeed.com, or other job searching websites, just to see what’s out there. Especially when you are overwhelmed, you might feel like you might be better off just going to work and paying someone else to take care of your kids. This thought is haunting and, if not treated or resolved immediately, can lead to depression.
Staying at home is NOT a job for everyone!
-From me to you
Staying at home is NOT a job for everyone! This needs to be said very loud. Think about it. The fact that you are spending every day at home means that you will need to clean and cook more, you become a teacher, a nurse, a referee, and will need to wear many other hats. Can you imagine what a stay-at-home mom resume would look like? Yikes!
Read next:
6 Simple Meal Ideas that your Picky Eater will Enjoy
10 Fun Ways to Make your Kids Feel Special
10 Simple Tips to Live a Confident Life
Something very important you should consider before making this life-changing decision is the timing in your life. Measure the pros and cons and play it out in your mind and in paper before making your final decision.
Disclaimer:
The myths of being a SAHM that you will read below are my personal experience. This may or may not be your case, but I hope that my point of view can help you in some way.
The 5 Myths of Being a SAHM
You will have all the time to clean your home
When the pandemic started, I was able to work from home while my mom took care of my kids. I remember sitting down in my desk and listening to the kids crying or playing in the background. I remember thinking about all the cleaning I could be doing if I just had a little extra time with the kids. And while this isn’t entirely a myth, it took me by surprise, and I quickly learned that cleaning with young children running around is not a simple task.
A cleaning schedule, again, is highly recommended.
You will spend quality time with your kids
If you can recall, I previously stated that as a SAHM you will spend time with your kids. This is very true. However, not all the time will be “quality” time. I feel like most of the day I’m just yelling for them to stop fighting, or for my little boy to stop putting random things in his mouth, or for my daughter to complete the task I asked her to do about a dozen times. The one thing I make sure I do is that, before they go to bed, I read them a story and spend at least 5-10 minutes of actual quality time with them.
You will have time to read
I love books. Notice how I didn’t say I love ‘reading’ books. The reason for this is that I have quite a few books I’ve been meaning to read that I haven’t had the chance to get to. I used to think that as a SAHM, I would have plenty of time of just sit down and read. Truth be told, I could read, if I woke up like 5 hours before my kids!
Regardless of whether I have time to read or not, I need to make sure I take time for self-care, and you should too.
You will find the perfect routine
I have read so many blog posts on SAHM routines, and I ended up feeling overwhelmed because I felt like there was something wrong with me since I wasn’t able to keep a routine. But what happened was that those routines were not made for me. Routines need to be personalized by everyone who wants to keep them, otherwise, they won’t fully work. Use other routines as examples or ideas, but make sure you personalize them to fit your life.
You can work from home and keep your sanity
As I mentioned before, I used to work from home. And I thought that I would be able to balance my life like that. MYTH! That didn’t work. I couldn’t focus on my tasks because there was no work-life/home-life separation. Working from home is not as pleasurable as they make it seem on social media ads, unless you have a perfect plan, and even then, you know kids are unpredictable, so there is only so much you can ‘plan’ with them.
If you have read all the way to this point, congrats and thank you! I hope that the information in this post has been helpful for you this far. Remember, a working mom is not any better or worse than a SAHM.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Would you consider being a SAHM? What are your reasons?
Sincerely,
